So a guy commits suicide, and he goes to heaven. He gets to heaven, and God greets him there, and the guy said, “I’m so surprised I’m here. First of all, I thought there was no God. Second of all, I thought if you killed yourself, you know, you were damned forever.” God said, “You know, that’s a complicated issue. Everybody at least thinks about ending it, you know, killing themselves at some point.” And God says, “Even I’ve thought of it.”
The guy said, “Can I ask, why didn’t you do it?”
And God said, “What if this is all there is?”
— Stephen Colbert






